If you could know your whole future...

So I was thinking the other, what if you could know your whole future?And I mean for this very moment to your last breath. Yeah I don't mind seeing my future, like 20 years from now. Who I'll be with or whether I'll be with anyone.What my job will be or will I be a bum.lol.What I'll look like and whether I'll suddenly become girly. If I do get married, who'll be my husband, what will my kids be like?Will be staying in NZ or back in Malaysia or same where halfway across the earth?I would like the know so many things, then maybe just maybe I wouldn't need to worry so much. But the one thing I would definately not want to know, is the day I die. I think that will be so horrible.When my time comes, let it come but I wouldn't never want to live with the knowledge of when i'll leave this earth.

So I guess I would not like to know my whole future.Just far enough to make me happy.lol.

ps.Just a random post

12 am

It's 12 am now, bored at of my mind. I've got an exam on monday, which I think I'm goin to fail. I've got no motivation to do anything.Nothing.I'm almost going to be emo,oh wait I am emo.lol.jks. I've been sitting in my room watchin ANTM (America's Next Top Model), yeah I know almost wasting my life away. The most exciting thing in my room is my photo montage, which I'm pretty proud of.Like a piece of art. Past few nights I go to slp late, but don't feel like sleeping. I'm always hungry, but I'm going to grow fat. I just wanna lose weight and still eat. I need a holiday!I know I just had one, but I mean out of this house holiday. I am so over staying here, I rather live with my parents definately.People say get a life, I say what is life?I'm just drained in every way.I was taking pictures of my room just now, with my lamp to give that soft yellow light. It's for my project about my identity in New Zealand. So I took my space, my room especially. The absence of people and the yellow light emphasises solitude. Hopefully I can pull it of. I'm hungry now.


I think you guys who are reading must be getting depressed.But hey everyone has their down moments.This is mine.

Eclipse

So, I actually finished this book like a week ago but i forgot to blog about it. Well better late then never, yeah, then again, it's just a book.lol.

Anyway, first of all, I think it's better than New Moon. Bella gets back with Edward, so she isn't whiny anymore and Jacob is a bit more matured. 2nd, Edward appears more ofcourse!lol.Twilight is all about Edward and nobody else but Edward. There's also more action in this book, with the vampires and werewolves joining up to fight the newborn vampires.One thing I didn't like, is that Bella was quite insistant on "doing it" with Edward. I'm thankful Edward asked her to marry him first, teaches about abstinence.Not like anyone does this anymore anyway.

Now girls are talking about team Jacob and team Edward. Who do you root for?Personally, in the book, 100% team Edward!but in really life team Jacob, or should I say team Taylor man!haha.Way better lookin then Robert, I'm sure most girls will agree with me though I have to say that Robert is good looking to some extent.I can almost say he is an "acquired taste".lol.

So now I'm waiting for Breaking Dawn, which will tie up all the loose ends. Bella getting to married to Edward, Bella becoming pregnant,Jacob falling in love with their daughter (info from Connie :P), and what nots. We'll stay tuned for more the last book, after I read it.ciao!

Mother's Day

So it was mumsie day yesterday, unfortunately I couldn't celebreate it with my mum for obvious reasons. That sucked. Anyway I sent my mum a text, which of course she deserved something more than just a 50 cent text message for NZ. Of course people say it's the thought that counts, so it wouldn't matter if I thought about it on Christmas?lol.I'm just crappin' :P

I only realised how much my mum means to mean the past few years. You know, when you're younger you always wished that you had different parents or was borned in a different family. Me, definately GUILTY!haha.But then as you grow older, you realise a whole different bunch of things. It's like you're enlighted.so to speak. I definately would not want any other mother, or parents for that matter, in the world. Man, after you live away from your family, you'll know how much they mean to you.

Especially mums, and since I'm a girl, I can connect with her better.My mum is one of the most thoughtful, creative,caring, wise and beautiful person I've ever known. She's like my best friend and I look forward to talking to her online. I cannot express how much my mum means to me in words. Words fail me here. I always tell myself that if or whenever I become a mum, I wanna be just like her.Sure my kids might not like me while they're growing up but at least I know they'll appreciate me in the end, like me now.lol.

I'll end it by saying, "I LOVE YOU MUM!!".no matter what.

So Much To Do, So Little Time

I wish this was the case for fun and games.

Have you ever felt that you've got so much to do that you don't know where to start from?This is the case for me.

First of all I've got my photography, I need to finish task 1, that is analysing and exploring my chosen photographers. Almost there, just one more to go.

Then I've got my on going English assignment which I haven't started. My teacher wants to check where we're at this friday, so I have to fabricate something now.lol.I need to do it!

I've also got an on going biology assignment which I have to write up at the end of this term. NOt really worried about this one but I've got to hand write all my notes and I've barely started. I've also got biology homework to do but I forgot to copy down the pages I need to do.ARGH!

Calculus is something else too. I need to show my teacher that I've been doing work in my workbook which I haven't.GAH!

So yeah that's pretty much it and Cell Group stuff too which I haven't looked at.

Oh wait!I'll show you guys what I've also been up too.

It's a photo montage on my wall, I know the picture isn't really clear cause I used my web cam.I'll take a clearer version later. I thought my wall was getting a bit boring so I decided to paste pictures that I like or relate to me on it.hehe.

Ok back to work....

What I'm Feeling Now

Ok I'm just blogging whatever comes to my mind for these few minutes.

I'm super duper tired from tennis yesterday, was on the courts from 11am to 5 pm..eyes hurt like crap..but i had one of the best games ever and one of the worst..lol..

I just ate chocolate,cadbury to be precise and was it delicious!mmmm.....i want more...

School was fine today except that my chemistry partner was a bit of a klutz today.kept spilling chemicals everywhere and poisonous ones too!gah..

I'm reading Othello in English class.and today my teacher decided to be Othello and my girl friend was Desdemona.Man was it akward and funny.lol.my teacher couldn't get what we were laughing at.

I've got a calculus test on thurs.oh crap,i just remembered I have to study for it.And a stats rest on friday.yay....

Sometimes doing homework is the most exciting part of my life.man I sound emo..lol

I think Eclipse is better than New Moon.Blog about that one later.

I'm facinated about how objects are reflected of the surface of the water.Just look at a puddle to see whats above you.

I'm playing Restaurant City on facebook where you own a restaurant and hire your friends to run it.lol.it's fun but i don't really see the point.but who cares it's my chill down time man.

I'm also doin photography work at the same time.Annotating and analysing them.

I really wanna talk to my parents now.and I wanna see my new house.I wish they were here.

One of my friends in school that I hang out with does drugs(oh wait tons of people do it T.T),yes and she's so open about it..gah but she's also like one of the friendliest persons in school.

New Zealand's Next Top Model isn't that great.I can only really see one or two having a chance at it.The rest suck.

I don't really mind who wins American Idol.They're all good to me.

My tennis friend just broke up with her boyfriend.And now she's telling me not to get into a relationship unless you wanna get married.I told her that's why I'm single.

I wish I had an idea for my next photography assigments and my end of the year one.O.O.

I'm not really looking forward to leading word tomorrow in Cell Group.

I feel like eating ice cream too now.lol.I want to eat everything any not grow fat.dream hard girl.

I seriously have nothing to blog about actually.lol.I think I should get some sleep.

Meaning Behind Photos

Sometimes when we look at a photo and admire how beautiful it is. I know I've been doing this for like ages but then since I started learning photography here it has changed my view on a single photograph, especially famous photographers and their projects.

For this term, I stumbled upon the work of Joel Sternfeld, I am familiar with his work but one of his projects struck me.

Look at this picture, what strikes you?The nice warm morning light striking the tree trunk, the calm feel of the photo or the beautiful scenery of part of a park?Everything that I mention does make this photo a beautiful photo but if did not know the purpose of this photo, we would be missing half of the meaning. The image is from one of his books titled "On This Site" and the text that follows this photo is about a lady who was strangled to death beneath that very tree. Now that changes our perspective of the photo entirely doesn't it. We suddenly see something that was never there before. The power of this photo only relates to those people,like Sternfeld, who are haunted by the death of Jennifer Levin. The once beautiful photo now stands as a memorial for this lady. Sternfeld quotes " It was bewildering to find a scene so beautiful to see the same sunlight pour down indifferently on the earth." This is only one of many photos that he took to remember national public crimes that happened. It speaks volumes but only if we knew the reason it was taken.

I am grateful that in photography classes here, we not only learn how to take pictures but also to understand and gain knowledge of past photographer and their works. We're so used to see a photo and go "Oh here's a nice photo" and then turn the next page. Of course not all photographs have hidden meanings but for the more famous artist and their there normally is. I've studied Walker Evans and his documentary on the Great Depression. Through the lens of his camera we see the reality of the poverty at that time. The people in his photos became icons of the Depression Era. Photographs are not merely an art but also a tool, and what a powerful tool it can be. My photography teacher took chairs and place them in different locations and you think what kinda photo is this? And then he explains that he was exploring the locations in which meetings were held or court sessions in the past. He tooks pictures of forest and field with the chairs in them and then explained the scene that once happened there. Photography is not just about takin beautiful photos (of course this is necessary) but also to get a certain message across. Of course i've seen surreal(fantansy-like) photos and even then the photographer has a reason to shoot it like that.

Once again, I realize at how photography is such a powerful tool. It is to inform, entertain and document things of the past and present. Never under estimate the power of photography. :)